Come Back to Me
by ChiTwiGal
Summary: Throughout her troubled past, Edward had always been there for Bella. After a terrible accident turns the tables, Edward needs her like never before. Can their friendship survive the turmoil or will their friendship be lost forever?


**A/N: This was my submission for Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness. I hope you like it. **

**Special thanks need to go out BonseyBabe and Mouse555 for pre-reading, 84Gemma for pre-reading and doing a polyvore, Christag_Banner for the beautiful banner and to Djsmommie for betaing this not so little o/s and making sure it was ready for all of you to read. Finally there is a special person out there who without her friendship and unconditional love and support this story would have never happened. You know who you are and I love you very much.**

****Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters... they all belong to Ms. Meyers..the plot of the story is mine and mine alone. If you are found copying or claiming ownership trust me you will be found out :) ****

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><p><strong><strong>COME BACK TO ME<br>****

The week couldn't end soon enough. On Friday a number of the nurses had called in sick due to a flu that was going around. I decided to work a double shift even though I knew it meant I would only get a few hours of sleep and have to return to work the next day. But I loved taking care of those so young and innocent. My favorite part of the job was when I had extra time to cuddle with the preemies. The looks on their faces when they were held was breathtaking and one that would never grow old. When I walked through the door at 3 am I was surprised to see that both Emmett and Jasper were still awake.

"Hey guys why are you still up?"

"Umm…nothing Bella just talking," Jasper responded

"Oh, really, just talking at 3am?" I questioned raising my eyebrow. "Well I'd love to stay up and chat but I have to be back at the hospital in 5 hours so I better get some sleep."

With that I headed into my room, stripped down to my underwear and climbed into bed exhausted. The buzz of my alarm clock came too soon. I rolled out of bed and into the shower which I hoped would wake me up. I then headed off for another shift in the neonatal ward of UC Davis Children's Hospital.

Surprisingly considering how tired I was from the double the day before, the day flew by. I got to spend some extra time cuddling with my favorite, Hanna. Her parents were not going to be able to make it to the hospital that day so I was elated that I was the one who got to spend extra time with her. She was so frail having been born at twenty eight weeks but she was also a fighter and I knew one day she would grow up to be successful at whatever she wanted to do.

Before I knew it my shift was over and I had spent an additional hour with Hanna. My exhaustion took over quickly so I felt it was best I head home. When I arrived there I noticed that both Emmett's and Jasper's cars were parked out front. That seemed strange. Usually by this time they would have already been out at the local watering hole enjoying a few beers before the start of the hockey game. I pulled into the driveway, climbed out of my car and headed inside to see what was up. When I opened the door I could feel that something just wasn't right.

"Bella, is that you?" Emmett's concerned voice came from the kitchen.

I could feel my heart beat harder with each step I took and I worried about what I was going to find once I reached the doorway.

"Hey, what are you guys still doing here? I thought you would be at the bar by now getting ready for the game."

"Bella, I think you should sit down." Emmett said as he moved from the counter where he had been leaning and walked towards me.

"Why?" was all I could muster up as I looked at the serious expressions on their faces.

"Bella, please," Jasper pleaded as he patted the chair next him encouraging me to sit down.

With that final plea I stepped forward and sat down looked back to see Emmett standing just behind me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed it. Jasper then took my hands into his and squeezed them lightly.

"Bella, I need you to listen to me. There's been an accident." Jasper's face was as calm as his words.

"What do you mean?" I was confused. They both looked to be unharmed and neither one of their cars looked to be damaged. I looked back and forth between the two of them as they stared at each other.

"Bella, everything is going to be okay." Emmett comforted me as he wrapped my shoulders into one of his signature hugs from behind.

"What do you mean there's been an accident?" I said more loudly this time wanting answers as I felt my body begin to shake knowing there was only one person who they could be talking about. But I needed to hear them say it.

"It's Edward."

When I heard his name my whole body wretched and I immediately spewed what little I had in my stomach all over Jasper's lap. I felt week and began to shake uncontrollably. _How could this happen? How could the only person left in the world I truly and deeply cared about have this happen? Why was this happening to me again?_

"Bella, sweetie… I need you to listen to me," Jasper said while stroking my cheek tenderly. "Edward was in a car accident last night."

"What do you mean last night," I screamed directly into Jasper's face. "Was that why you were awake when I came home? Why didn't you tell me then? What were you waiting for?" My anger grew with each question and I could feel Emmett's grasp on me becoming stronger as I tried to stand up from the chair.

"I'm sorry Bella," Jasper looked into my eyes with love and compassion. "There was nothing you could do and you needed to work today. So we thought it would be best to wait until you got home."

"Well it wasn't the right thing to do! I could have called and spoken with him! I could have let him know that I would be there as soon as I could get away! I need to call him now!"

"Sweetie, I need you to calm down a little. There's more that I need to explain." Jasper continued to look into my eyes, stroked my hands as he held them and slowed his breathing down as he tried to get me to listen. "Edward is currently in intensive care. The car he was riding in was hit by another car which was traveling at a high rate of speed. His friend, Mike, who was driving lost control and ended up hitting a tree on the side of the road. Edward was in the passenger side which took most of the impact. He has numerous broken bones, a collapsed lung and right now is in a coma."

As he explained what happened it felt as if my body was slipping away from me and before I knew what had happened I was engulfed in darkness.

**~o0o~**

"Bella…Bella, can you hear me? It's Emmett… just move or something to let me know you can at least hear me." I could hear Emmett just fine. The problem was no matter how much I willed them to I couldn't get my eyes to open. "Jasper do you think she is okay? She has been out for a while."

"Emmett she's fine, it's been less than two minutes, her breathing is becoming more even and if you look at her eyes it's looks like she might actually be trying to open them." Jasper voice was calm and I could feel him soothingly stroke my arm. "Maybe you should carry her to the couch and lay her down. It might help her regain consciousness faster. I'll go get a cool cloth to put on her head."

Just as Jasper stopped talking I felt my body being lifted up by two strong arms and then felt my feet being lifted and lowered onto what felt like cushions from the couch. What seemed like minutes, but was probably only a few seconds, later I felt a cold cloth being laid across my forehead. Ever so gradually I was able to feel my body again. I could hear Emmett and Jasper's voices but they seemed somewhat distant. I slowly tried to open my eyes. It was difficult at first and seemed much brighter than I remembered it being but finally I was able to open them. As I did I carefully turned my head from side to side and searched for where they were.

"Em…Jas…are you guys still here?" I squeaked out with the little strength I could muster up.

"We're right here Bells." I heard and then saw Emmett race into the room as Jasper followed closely behind.

"Don't try to sit up just yet," Jasper ordered as if he could read my mind and see what I was about to do.

"Okay, but why? I feel much better." I tried to counter while lifting my shoulders off the couch and then realized I probably shouldn't.

"That's why," Jasper said with a smile as he held out a glass to me. "Why don't you take a sip of this and just stay there until we can talk more about the situation."

I took the glass from his hand and he helped me lift my head so that I could take a small sip. "I'm not sure I want to hear anymore. I just need to know he is going to be alright."

"He will be I just know it Bella." Emmett said as he kneeled next to the couch and smiled at me. "So, Jasper and I were talking and we think it would be a good idea if we all drive up to Port Angeles to see him. What do you think?"

"Yes," I exclaimed and sat up quickly and then fell right back down as I realized what I had done. Once I laid back down the room started to spin again so I closed my eyes as I continued to speak. "But I'm not sure if I can get time off since I just started at the hospital a few weeks ago."

I felt Emmett wipe away the tears which had streamed down my cheeks before I even realized they were there. "Bella, I'm sure if you explain the situation they will understand. Just call your boss and see what she says."

Mrs. Cope did seem to be understanding and I knew she was impressed with my work. When I started at U.C. Davis Children's Hospital it was on a three month trial basis but had been asked to join the hospital permanently just one week after I started.

About 15 minutes and one glass of orange juice later, and with Emmett's help, I was able to sit up. I called some of the other nurses to see if they were willing to cover my shifts. Luck was with me as I was able to find someone for each of them. They all told me they could only imagine how they would feel if they were in my situation. With the knowledge that I would have people to cover for me, I left Mrs. Cope a message and let her know I needed to speak with her first thing in the morning.

With that taken care of, I turned my efforts to getting some sleep but to no avail. All I could think about was how my best friend, my confidant and the only person left who was _family_ to me was lying in a hospital bed over eight hundred miles away in a coma. Every time my body succumbed to sleep I would awaken in pools of sweat and screaming due to the nightmares I had. I tossed and turned all night long so my alarm clock wasn't really needed. Once it did start to buzz I got out of bed and got ready for work. I made sure I arrived early to talk to Mrs. Cope so that I would still be on time when my shift started.

"Good morning, Bella why don't we step inside my office to talk?" Mrs. Cope greeted me as she walked into the waiting area outside her office. "I got your message last night so how can I help you?"

"Well, a good friend of mine was in a terrible accident on Saturday night. He's currently in a coma outside of Seattle and I was hoping to go be with him. I know it's very short notice but he's like family to me and really the only person I have left in the world. I'll work my shift today and found people to cover for me until next Tuesday. I hope you don't mind but I didn't want to leave you shorthanded," the words spewed from my mouth so quickly I hoped she didn't think I was being rude.

"Slow down Bella. First of all why don't you take a seat?" she stated and gestured with her hand to a chair in front of her desk. "Next, tell me what happened."

Over the next hour I told Mrs. Cope what I knew about the accident and Edward's condition. She chose to sit in the chair next to me and at one point wiped a tear which had escaped from my eye with a Kleenex from her desk. The look in her eyes and the soft tender touches reassured me that she understood what I was feeling.

"Of course you can go Bella. In fact why don't you leave now? I'm sure I can find someone to come in and cover your shift today. It's more important that you go and be with your friend."

"Mrs. Cope I would prefer to work today. I am going to drive back tonight with my roommates who are good friends of his from college and taking care of the babies would keep my mind off of worrying about him. Also I really don't want to burden you more than I already have."

"First of all Bella, you haven't burdened me at all in fact you've done more than you're share to help me out . I appreciate you finding people to cover for you but it wasn't necessary. Second, if you want to stay and work today then feel free, but if at any time you want to leave just let me know. Finally, I want you to take as much time as you need. I don't want you rushing back here and worrying about him. Please promise me you will concentrate on your friend and not worry about work. We will take care of everything here," as she ended she leaned over and enveloped me in a tight hug. One that reminded me of one my mother would have given me so many years ago.

My shift that day flew by. Before I left I spent a few minutes and cuddled with Hanna knowing that I wouldn't see her until I returned and how much I would miss her. When I was done I headed back to the house and found Emmett and Jasper getting packed.

"Hey, we thought maybe we would leave tonight if you are up for it," Emmett said as I passed by his room on the way to mine.

"Sure, just let me grab a few things and take a shower okay?"

"That should give me enough time to grab some sandwiches and snacks for the road so we won't have to stop as much along the way," Jasper piped in as he stuck his head out of his room.

"Sounds great, I should be ready in an hour."

"Oh and before you ask, Edward's mom and dad want us to stay with them. In fact they insisted." Emmett added knowing I was always worried about money.

"Are you sure?" I asked and wondered why since Edward's mom wasn't necessarily a fan of mine.

"Esme felt it would be the best for everyone and Carlisle called separately with the same request about an hour later." Jasper confirmed.

"Okay well I better get a move on if we want to get there before morning."

We finally got on the road around eight in the evening. Jasper and Emmett decided that to split the driving. I had told them I was willing to take a shift also but they insisted I just rest as the next day would probably be hardest on me. With their encouragement I climbed into the back seat with my pillow and a blanket and settled in for what I was sure was going to be the longest car ride of my life.

**~o0o~**

When we first got on the road I did my best to try to catch a few winks. I felt my body relax as Jasper put in one of my favorite CDs that Edward made for me before I moved. As I listened to the playlist unfold, the more numb I became. Edward had told me that each of the songs meant something to him about our relationship and I had thought I knew what he meant. But it wasn't until I really listened to the words and knew that he was lying in a hospital bed that I truly understood how perfect they were

"Hey, Jas…could you please put something else on?" I asked quietly while trying to hold my emotions in. "Maybe a jazz station or something like that."

"Sure thing Bella," he responded and looked back at me. "Hey, is everything okay? You look like you've been crying."

"I'm fine, just tired and I think hearing music without vocals will let my mind relax more."

"Then I think I have the perfect thing." He turned around and reached into his bag and pulled out another CD.

The next thing I heard was the sound of acoustic guitar music coming through the speakers. Even though I knew it was Edward who was playing it was much more soothing to me because it brought my mind back to happier times. Before I knew it my eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep.

**~o0o~**

After a few hours I started to hear a voice. I was sure I was having a nightmare. The voice was muffled as if it was trying to keep something from me and was talking about how bad Edward's condition had become. I was only able to hear bits and pieces of a conversation which didn't make any sense to me.

"Really? How could that be? He made it through the first night fine? So the next forty eight hours are key? Okay, well we are about half way there. We need to stop for gas and then should be able to drive the rest of the way without stopping. We should be no later than 8:00am. Don't worry about us we will make sure to be careful. If we run into any delays or problems you will be the first person we call. Please let Edward know we are on our way and that we all love him."

"So, what did he say?" a second voice chimed in.

"Well they think he might have bleeding on the brain but he's too critical to undergo the test he needs. The Doctors told his parents that the next forty-eight hours are critical. Carlisle is worried he might not make it until we get there."

Once I heard those final words my eyes flew open and I realized I hadn't been having a nightmare but I had overheard Jasper talking with Edward's father.

"What did you just say?" I yelled from the back seat. "We need to drive faster Emmett! I need to see him! He needs to know I am there so he will fight to live! I can't have this happen to me again!"

I felt the car slow down and then the roughness of the shoulder as Emmett pulled off the highway and put the car into park.

"Emmett, what are you doing? We need to get to going! Didn't you hear what Jasper said? Edward might not make it through the night!" I continued to scream at him over and over and felt my body shake harder with each word as more tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Shh…" was all I heard as a set of arms pulled me to their chest and someone began to rock me slowly back and forth. "Bella, I know you are worried but I have a good feeling about this. Edward is going to be fine. We just need to fill up with gas and then we will have enough to make it to Port Angeles without stopping again. But, Em and I need to make sure that you are going to be able to stay calm. We are as worried about you as we are about Edward right now," when he stopped talking he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before pulling back to look at me.

"But, what if I don't get to…" I started to utter before Emmett interrupted.

"Bella, don't think that way. We must all think positive, the more positive we stay the more strength we will give to Edward to pull through this."

"But…"

"Bella, you need to listen to Emmett. He's right. Getting upset won't help Edward at all. He needs us to be strong. So why don't we get to the gas station, get you out of this car for a little bit and then get back on the road. Then, before you now it, we will be seeing Edward. How does that sound?"

"I… think… I can do that as long as you guys promise me we won't stop for more than half an hour."

"Deal," Jasper agreed and kissed my forehead again.

"Jasper would you close that door so I can get move on to the gas station." Emmett playfully ordered as he put the car back into drive.

**~o0o~**

Once back in the car the rest of the drive felt like it took forever. I just stared out the window and every time we passed one of those 'miles to go' signs I became more on edge. Time and miles passed too slowly. _I need to get to him. I needed to be there when he woke up. He needed to know how much I cared for him and loved him. I needed to tell him again how sorry I was about everything I put him through in the past. He needed to see how I was doing what I had promised. He needed to know that he didn't need to worry so much about me, that I was able to stand on my own two feet and make positive strides in my life. I needed to thank him again for all he had done for me over the years and tell him that one day I would repay him. Even though I didn't know how you repay someone who had saved you from falling even further into darkness and despair._

"Hey Bells, how is it going back there?" Jasper's quiet and calm voice came from the driver's seat directly in front of me. "Do you mind if we take a short break. I just really need to stretch my legs for the final hundred miles and there's a rest stop coming up."

"Sure, whatever you need is fine with me," I mumbled not really wanting to stop but knowing that it was the right thing to do.

"I promise it won't be more than ten minutes which means we should arrive by eight like we expected."

As the exit for the rest stop appeared Jasper veered off onto it and pulled into a parking space. He climbed out of the car and stretched leaning his head back to reveal in the rays of the sun that had just come up over the trees to the east. I decided I might as well get out and stretch since once we got to the hospital I knew most of our time would be sitting in very uncomfortable chairs. Once I stepped out and felt the rays gently warming my skin I couldn't help but smile as I hoped this was a sign of how the day would turn out.

"So, do you think we should wake up Emmett or let him sleep?" Jasper leaned over and asked while I continued to stand with my eyes closed enjoying the sun and fresh air.

"I'm not sure; do you think he would get mad if we didn't?"

"I'm sure he will get mad either way so why don't we just head out when you're ready. I know you are anxious to get to Edward and if I'm being honest so am I." He playfully bumped my shoulder with his and then leaned against the hood of the car. We stayed there for about five more minutes then got back in to make our way to see our friend.

Exactly an hour and a half later we pulled into the parking lot of Olympic Medical Center in Port Angeles. Emmett was still asleep in the car but we needed to wake him so that we could get inside. Once he was awake we all huddled together and promised that no matter what we saw or what happened that we were there for each other and for Edward.

As we wandered through the halls they flanked me on either side held my hands and never let go. When we arrived in ICU we were instructed to stay in the waiting room as there was a strict limit of the number of people could be in his room at once.

When the door opened I heard what I thought was Edward's voice, "There you all are right on time. I thought I would stay here so that once you got here one of you would be able to go see him right away." As I looked up I saw his father looking at me with both love and concern.

"Bella, why don't you go first, I'm sure you're the one he wants to see," Emmett encouraged me as he squeezed my hand.

"No, I don't think I can," I could hear the shakiness in my voice and my legs weaken as I thought about going to see him. "At least not right now."

"Emmett, why don't you go, I'll stay with Bella and when you're done maybe the two of us can go in together. I think that might be better for her don't you?" Even though I hadn't been that close to Jasper until I made the move, he seemed to always know what would be the best for me.

"Jasper, I think having Emmett go in there now is perfect. Esme is there now and with me being on staff here I can come and go as I please." Carlisle said as he moved forward and grasped the hand that Emmett had been holding. "Bella, why don't we come over here and sit for a bit?"

As I followed Carlisle over to one of the couches I saw Emmett head down the hall toward Edward's room.

"Bella, you should eat something," Jasper stated. "It's been a long time since you've had anything and you need to keep up your strength."

"No thanks."

"Sweetheart, Jasper is right you need to have something."

"A black coffee then, please." I knew if I ate anything that all I would end up doing was throwing it up at some point but I figured at least the coffee could keep me awake.

"Well, that's not what I meant but I'll go grab you some from the cafeteria. Jasper I'll bring you something to eat and a coffee. It'll just take me a few minutes and I'll be back."

With that Carlisle left, leaving just Jasper and me alone in the cold, sterile waiting room. The only sound I could hear was that of a low hum coming from a TV and the rhythm of Jasper's breathing. I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes using those two sounds to help calm the nerves which were just under the surface waiting to explode.

**~o0o~**

About an hour later Emmett walked back into the room and looked exhausted. "Bella, Esme thinks it's time for you to go see him. She won't leave until she knows that you and Jasper are there. She doesn't want him to be alone."

Once he heard those words Jasper stood and extended his hand out to help me up. "Let's go get this over with."

As I passed by Emmett he placed his hand on my shoulder and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "You can do this and I know he will know you are there with him. Just stay strong."

Each step I took towards Edward's room I could feel my heart beat faster and my legs weaken. "Jasper, how am I going to do this?"

"I'll be there with you the whole time. Just remember its Edward. I'm not saying it's going to be easy for me either but we have to stay strong for him. I know you can do it. You've been through so many other things before. Use those experiences to help you through this one."

"Okay, I'll try…Just promise me that if you think I am doing more harm than good that you will take me out of there."

"I promise, but I know the best thing for Edward right now is for him to hear your voice and for him to feel your presence."

Just as Jasper reached out to grab the handle of the door it opened. "There you two are, he's been waiting for you. I'm going to grab something to eat. I'll be back in an hour to see how you are getting along." Esme stated with a slightly bitchy undertone which I'm sure was directed at me since I knew how she always felt I relied on Edward too much whenever I had problems. "You can talk to him about whatever you want all I ask is that you keep it light and positive. If you think you might break down then I ask that you leave the room immediately. I only want him surrounded by positive energy since research shows that people in comas know what is happening around them and that can possibly influence the outcome of the situation." When done she brushed by us and headed down the hall.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked as he squeezed my hand one last time before leading me into the room.

As I entered I kept my eyes fixated on the floor. I could hear the familiar sounds of the various machines that were at work monitoring his vitals and those which helped his body fight to stay alive. Even though I spent my days at the hospital taking care of little babies who were fighting for their lives I was still afraid to look at him. But this was something different, Edward was like family to me and I knew once I saw him it would take everything in me not to fall apart.

"Bella why don't you sit?"

"What…" was my answer to Jasper's request since I hadn't realized that we had walked all the way to the side of the bed and decided to take him up on his offer. As my body moved lower Edward's lifeless body came into view. Even though he was covered in a sheet I could still see how broken his body was. He had a leg in traction with a cast which extended from the tips of his toes to his hip. His one arm had numerous pins and screws holding it together. The other arm had all the necessary IVs, and monitoring equipment attached to it. Every inch of skin I saw was bruised and swollen which made his toned body look like he hadn't worked out a day in his life. I finally let my eyes wander up to his face and never expected to see what I did. I moved the hand Jasper wasn't holding to my mouth to keep me from screaming at the sight in front of me. It was swollen, bruised and covered in stitches. I could only imagine the pain he was in and I could feel my heart break inside the longer I looked at him.

"I think you should say something to him," Jasper whispered directly in my ear.

"Oh...okay," I said quietly before clearing my throat. "Hey Edward, it's me Bella. I'm here with Jasper." I couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment and wasn't sure how he would react. Jasper took over then and started to tell him about some funny parts of our drive up which I didn't even known had happened. The more Jasper talked the more I relaxed. So much so at some point I let go of his hand and moved it to Edward's arm and tenderly stroked his arm with the hope that it would bring more comfort to him.

**~o0o~**

As the days passed a pattern developed; Esme would be in the room with one of the boys and then after an hour I would go in to see him with the other one. Each time I would pass her a strange feeling came over me as if I was an intruder. At some point during the day Carlisle joined Jasper and me. After a few minutes I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, could I speak to you for a moment in the hallway? I promise it will be quick and then you can come back."

"Umm…sure," I responded as I started to stand.

"Don't worry Bells, we're not going anywhere," Jasper glanced down toward Edward and gave me a tender smile.

Once in the hallway Carlisle began to speak, "I want to first thank you for coming all this way to be with my son. I know he loves you very much and he would want you here. I also know that you and my wife are not on the best of terms but I need you to know that she is contented to have you here."

"Thank you, but why did you need to bring me out here to tell me this?"

"Well my wife has been here since the accident occurred and desperately needs to get some sleep or she will also end up in this hospital. Immediate family members are the only ones who are allowed to stay overnight in ICU but I have gotten special permission which would allow you to be able to be here overnight since you are a nurse."

"Me?"

"Yes you Bella, you are like a sister to Edward. I couldn't think of anyone else I would want here other than myself or my wife when he wakes up. So, if you are willing I would appreciate it if you could spend the night here with him while I go take my wife home for some much needed sleep."

"How does Esme feel about this?"

"Bella I wouldn't be talking to you if she hadn't agreed to it already. I know she can be hard on you sometimes but it's just because she loves our son so much."

"Thank you Carlisle, I would be honored to stay and watch over him." I then reached up to give him a hug.

"Well then get back in there; you've got a very important patient to take care of." He declared and then turned to leave.

As I opened the door I heard a familiar voice call my name and looked back.

"Thank you for doing this Bella, I know my son will be in good hands." Esme smiled at me and then grabbed her husband's hand and they continued to walk to the elevator.

**~o0o~**

Emmett and Jasper stayed for a few more hours until the night nurses forced them to leave. Each of them gave me a hug and told me that I had been doing great and that they would see me in the morning. Once they left the room felt empty. I wasn't really sure what to do so I just started to talk.

I talked about how Edward and I had first met. I was four and he was six. I moved in with my adoptive parents who lived across the street from the Cullen's. I didn't remember my real parents as they died when I was two. Like so many other kids I was moved around the system until they found the Swan's who were willing to foster me at first and then ended up adopting me when I was six.

Edward had been my constant. Whenever I thought Renee and Charlie were going to send me back he told me not to worry. When I would do something I shouldn't have he always took the blame and got punished also. He was the one I ran to when Renee died when I was only eight. She had gotten cancer and was not able to beat it. I had always considered her my _mom_ since I didn't really remember my real one.

The years after her death were hard ones. My adoptive father Charlie took her death hard. He began to drink more and take out his anger and frustrations about trying to raise a child on his own on me. He blamed me for Renee's death and felt if it wasn't for me his life would be better. He hit me all the time and when it got to be too much I retreated. I never told Edward what was happening but he knew. He would stop by the house when he noticed I wasn't around much. If he heard anything he would knock on the front door and then Charlie would stop. Once he finally decided to talk to me about it I begged him not to tell anyone. I told him I could handle it on my own and it wasn't as bad as he thought. But who was I kidding? Every time Charlie beat me it was worse than the one before.

Finally I stopped crying and screaming when he did it which made Charlie even angrier. I found other outlets and ways to make me feel like I was a _grownup_. I started smoking when I was ten, drinking and taking drugs at twelve then having sex at 13. Edward knew what I was doing and tried to get me to stop. He was worried about the kids from the reservation I was hanging out with. He felt they were a bad influence and that if he was able to talk to his parents about my situation that they would help. But I was too proud for that. I wanted to show everyone how _strong_ I was and how I was able to _take_ care of myself.

Boy was I wrong. What I thought was strength was just a way of hiding from Charlie and life in general. The beatings didn't stop. In fact when I did come home they were normally so bad I couldn't leave the house for a week. I knew I probably had broken bones but couldn't go and get them checked out. Once I was able to cover the scars and bruises I would head out on a binge of drugs, alcohol and sex.

That was my way of showing the world that I was an _adult_, but in reality I was a scared kid throwing their life away even quicker. I had sex with Jake first because it was exciting and I thought he loved me when in reality it was just teenage hormones for him. Then it was for payment. Jake was where I got my drugs and alcohol but I didn't have the money to pay him for them so instead I filled his constant teenage boy appetite for sex.

It wasn't until one day when I was sixteen and Edward found me as I walked aimlessly along the side of the road in a stupor that my life truly began to change. He took me back to his parent's house, cleaned me up and let me stay in the guest room for the weekend. When his parent's arrived back home Sunday night he explained the situation I had been living in. Carlisle talked with me about getting help. All types of help from emotional to physical. He felt I had addictions but I thought otherwise. If I wanted to stop anything I could it's just that I didn't want to stop. Which wasn't really true, I wanted to but didn't believe in myself or that anyone else truly cared about me as a person. Even though I wouldn't get help Carlisle offered to do whatever he could.

The next few years didn't change much other than I stopped having sex with Jake. That was the one thing I knew I didn't want. Edward would give me the money I needed to get the drugs even though he didn't agree with it. I didn't need that much since after Jake was out of my life I only did drugs or drank when I wanted to have some extra fun or was really down; which equated to a few times a week.

Edward stood by me through thick and thin. He never left me alone with Charlie if he thought he might hurt me. Which was both a good and a bad thing, because the physical abuse stopped but the verbal abuse became more frequent. Charlie was never one for compliments. He always told me I was never smart enough, pretty enough or talented enough to be _anything_ in life. No matter what I did or the grades I got it was never _enough_ in his eyes. If I would have looked around I would have seen I was getting validations from others around me in my life, specifically Edward, but Charlie was the only Father I knew and I craved validation from him.

When Edward graduated from high school I freaked out. He was handsome, smart, mature and one day wanted to be a doctor just like his father. I knew that meant he would have to leave and go to college. Whenever I thought about that the same questions popped into my mind. _Who was going to protect me now? Who would help me if I needed someone? Where would I go if it got too bad at Charlie's?_ I had two more years of high school left and didn't know if I could survive it without Edward around. Luckily for me Edward decided to commute the first year. It was a huge sacrifice since it meant a two hour drive to and from campus the days he had class. He said it was because he didn't want to get lured into the typical stuff freshmen do but I had a feeling it was because of me. When he told me what he was doing he encouraged me to take summer school and to try to graduate early. With his help I was able to accomplish this. I always knew deep inside I could do whatever I set my mind to do but just never had the drive to do it until then.

The next year we both left for school. I moved into the dorms at UW while Edward moved in to an apartment with some guys he had met freshman year. That's when I first met Jasper and Emmett. The three of them treated me like their little sister. I wish I could say that having them there was a good influence on me. But when Edward got busy with school in his junior year preparing for his MCATs, I found Riley.

He was cute, smart and I fell for him and back into my bad habits fast. He knew how to keep me happy with just the right amount of drugs, booze and mind blowing sex. Riley knew it was important for me to keep my grades up so that I would graduate. He was careful never to let me binge to hard or for too long. I thought he loved me for me but he loved the power he had to control me. By the time Edward graduated we almost never saw each other except the few times I was in Forks. Oh Edward tried but I always had excuses that I had something going on or I was sick. I built a wall around me since I knew he didn't like what I had become and I didn't want to see him look at me with pity.

He invited me to his graduation. I declined but watched from the back of the convocation center. I was so proud of him; top in his class going on to medical school and making his parents proud. The summer after he graduated I stayed at UW and attended summer school and spent more time with Riley. I knew if I did I could graduate in December and get on with my life. What I didn't know was that Riley had other plans.

Summer started out great but Riley didn't seem happy with me. We spent less time together and one day after class I walked into our apartment to find left over lines of cocaine on the coffee table and clothes strewn all over the floor. I heard grunts and groans. I was terrified at what I was going to find. When I walked into the bedroom there was Riley being ridden by a girl with long red hair; I stood there and watched for what seemed like forever not being able to turn away until I threw up the what was left of my breakfast from that morning. I was angry, hurt and could see my world falling apart in front of me yet again.

When they realized I was there, Riley laughed and asked if I enjoyed the show and wanted to join them. I ran as fast as I could out of the apartment and continued to run until I my legs were too weak to go any more. I continued to walk aimlessly until I was stopped by James. He was a dealer I had met once. James could tell I was weak and hurting so he handed me a baggie and told me that this was the best stuff around. I took it and said if it was that I'd be back.

I walked away with what I assumed was a drug I had never tired, heroin. I drifted through the streets of Seattle for hours and stopped in parks here and there to rest each time looking at the baggie. At some point I picked up a piece of sharp glass from a broken beer bottle and cut my wrists. It hurt like hell but not as bad as I felt inside.

After dark I found myself in front of Edward's building. I wasn't sure how I had gotten there or what I should do but something made me press the button to his place. He did what he always had done in the past. He was there to fix me up physically and support me emotionally. He pulled me back from the darkness I had fallen into. He never dwelled on the past just helped me move forward from that point in time.

After I was released from the hospital I spent the rest of the summer at Edward's while I tried to get my life straightened out. He went with me to get my stuff from the apartment and I never spoke with Riley again. Edward helped to find me a roommate for my last year. She was a pre-med student named Angela and we seemed to get along. Both of us concentrated on school and our life after undergrad. She was going to Stanford for medical school and I hoped to work as a neo-natal nurse at a children's hospital.

Once I graduated Edward and I knew it was best for me to start anew; a place where my past couldn't haunt me. He suggested that I see if there were openings at the children's hospital in Davis, California. Emmett and Jasper were there getting their MBA's. He felt they would be a good influence on me and they were looking for a roommate. As luck would have it there was an opening and they were willing to give me a trial run with the possibility of it becoming permanent.

That's how I got to where I am today. But as I talked to him about our past together the one thing I realized that I never really told him how much I appreciated the support and unconditional love he gave me all my life. I know if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have ever made it through the darkness to live and see another day.

As I started to think about that tears flowed from my eyes and I told Edward how much I loved and appreciated him as my confidant, my protector and friend. My eyes got heavier as I cried. Finally I laid my head on the bed near his and hummed the same tune he would to me when I was at my worst.

At some point I must have fallen asleep. I felt like I was dreaming because when I awoke there was commotion in the room. I was now sitting in another chair away from the bed. There was a nurse frantically taking vital signs and she asked Edward questions. I looked around and noticed Carlisle and Esme were there. Their eyes were fixated on their son and when I looked over to Edward his eyes were open. I gaped at the fact he was awake but couldn't get my voice to work. When our eyes met he slightly tilted his head and gave me a rather strange smile as if he wasn't sure on who I was.

"Mom who is that over there?"

"Edward that's Bella."

"Why is she here mom?"

As I heard him say those words my heart sank and my body started to convulse. _He didn't remember me. How could that be? _Before I could stop myself I ran out of the room. The next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor and crying uncontrollably. Carlisle came and sat next to me. He wrapped me in a hug that felt just like the ones Edward had given me in the past and tried calm me before he spoke.

"Bella, it's not uncommon for someone who has been in a coma to have memory issues. I'm sure that Edward will remember you soon."

I wanted to respond but my body wouldn't let me I continued to cry until I had nothing left in me.

**~o0o~**

"Hey Bell you awake?" I heard Jasper calm voice ask.

"I think so, why is something the matter?"

"I just wanted to talk to you before I headed back to the hospital."

I sat up quickly and realized I was in Edward's childhood room. "What am I doing here?"

"Bella the last few days have been hard on you. Carlisle felt it was best to keep you sedated and here until Edward had made more progress with his memory. When Emmett and I entered the room the day he woke up Edward couldn't remember us either. There were so many things he couldn't remember but as the hours went by he has slowly remembered bits and pieces of his life. Emmett just called to let me know that when he walked in today that Edward knew who he was and asked how grad school was going." Jasper paused for a moment and smiled. "Carlisle thinks it would be good for you to come back to the hospital today if you think you can handle it. There's no guarantee that Edward will remember but he thinks the more you're around the more quickly he will remember how important you are to him."

"I want to go but I'm afraid I won't be strong enough if he doesn't remember me."

"Bells, you've got to give it a chance. Trust me I don't know if he'll remember me even though he knows who Emmett is." Jasper hugged me and I could feel the fear he had.

"I'll try, just give me a chance to shower and then we can go."

**~o0o~**

I spent the next four days visiting with him in his hospital room talking about the past. When the fifth day arrived I knew we all needed to get back to California. Emmett and Jasper had classes to attend and I needed to get back to work. Edward still hadn't remembered me even though he seemed to remember almost everyone and everything else in his life. I knew I needed to go by the hospital before we left. I needed to remind him again how important he was in my life and that I would be there for him as much as he wanted me to be. But I was scared that once I left his room that day that it might be the last time I would ever see him.

Jasper and Emmett went in first to say their goodbyes. Edward had just remembered Jasper last evening so I thought it would be best for them to be able to enjoy their time with him and not have to worry about me and how I was feeling. When they both left the room they hugged me and told me to just be me, Bella.

I walked into his room and plastered a smile on my face. I didn't want him to see how I was broken inside. I wanted him to remember me but if he didn't I wanted him to want to be friends with the girl who spent each night with him while he struggled to get better. I didn't want to lose him again even if we had to start all over.

"Hey," was all I was able to get out without my voice cracking.

"Hey," he said and showed me the smile which was always a comfort to me.

"I just wanted to stop and say goodbye before we head back to California. I wish I could stay but with the new job and everything I can't. I promise if you would like me to come back I will. But I'm going to leave it up to you."

"I'm not sure what to say. I enjoyed the time we spent talking but I also feel bad that I don't remember all the things we talked about. I know it happened and it's so frustrating." As he finished a small tear escaped from his lower lid as one did also from mine.

I wiped mine away as fast as I could in hopes that he wouldn't notice.

"Beautiful please don't cry. Whether I remember what we had in the past or not I know that I want you in my life going forward."

I looked up at him and saw his gentle smile had returned and I tried to return it but it was just too hard hearing those words of him basically admitting that he didn't believe he would remember me. I walked over to the side of the bed and gave him a quick peck on his cheek knowing I couldn't stay there any longer or I would break down.

"Well, I better get going the guys are waiting and we have a long drive ahead of us."

I made my way to the door, grabbed the handle and paused for a moment and wondered if I should turn around one last time as I didn't know if I would have the strength to ever see him again if he couldn't remember our past. I said a quick prayer to myself _Please God; let him come back to me. I promise I'll love and cherish him always if you_ _just give me this one thing_. I took a deep breath then pulled on the door and decided it was best to walk out the door and try to move on with my life.

"Bella, wait..."

**~The End~**

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you for reading and hoped you enjoyed my one shot. I felt it was best to let the reader decide what happens in the end and it also gives me the option of continuing the story if I choose or are encouraged to by the readers.

I appreciate any and all input so if you have a few minutes a review would be appreciated. :D

I hope you enjoyed my one shot and thought it would be best to let you decided what happens in the end.

If you would like to see the polyvore 84Gemma did you can find them at http : /84gemma . blogspot . com/p/morethanmyself . html

Also go take a look the wonderful banner Christag_Banner did for my one shot and all the other beautiful ones she has done for authors or has up for adoption. You can find them at http : /christagbanners . blogspot . com/

Thank you again for reading!

~ChiTwiGal


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